quien quiere saber

Drunken Truths.

2010-12-13T21:47:00.000-08:00

I'm selfish. And that's why I hate selfish people.

That's also why I don't have a boyfriend. I don't want to compromise. Or should I say, I wasn't ready to compromise. I feel maybe I'm ready to do that a little bit. Yeah. Let's try this out.
Warning: I'm new. I don't know what to do!

I bought the toothpaste today.

2010-09-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

MUSIC

Sibel Charlotte: is what I call the process of Erik and I (or is it me?....who knows, im not an english major) music and lyrics. Big Brown Eyes is the band comprised of Erik, Karla, Keiter and I. There's a few things I've wanted to sort out with Erik and the rest about that too, especially since Erik is presently working on his own Production Company called Sonic Noodle (great name IMHO) (which doesnt mean IM a HO, well, yes it does but in this case it stands for In My Humble Opinion). Very excited to see what he's got developed for that too.
FrankErik tomorrow! Or I guess today technically. I'm so excited to get back to work on music, I have a few ideas for some new songs and i've got 3 new songs already written and ready for music. If all goes as planned (which it hasn't the last few times we've tried to meet up) we shall have "What I Prefer" out and ready for you guys to listen by the evening. I'm also hoping we can pop out another one, which I think is reasonable seeing that we have so much material to work with. The goal before the end of this year is to finish that first album! If we get organized enough we might even finish the second one. That would be awesome!!

ACTING

Or better yet.."acting". I don't know at what point I'd call myself an "actress", so I'll just leave the quotations for now. I had my first play this Saturday and let me tell you, it came a bit easier than I had thought. I wasn't as ready to shoost myself as I was before our BBE show. DAmn, I think that show really helped for this performance tho, I guess it was a bit more familiar having people staring up at you. I'm sure that fact that the lights were BLINDING and you really can't seeeee anything helped A LOT. The nerves were still there while I was "performing" but I hear that's a good thing to have. So I hear. Anyway, it was soooo much fun preparing and joking around and putting on all the make-up, taking silly pictures to calm the nerves, holding hands in a circle to wish everyone "mucha mierda" which is the spanish version of "break a leg" (i didn't know that till saturday, very cool). It was definitely something I'm glad I tried, and apparently I don't suck THAT much cuz one of the actors is putting together a play of his own and wants me to play a part (nun with funky, fun, cool attitude, I think i can pull it off) maybe. :) Of course I said yes, so now I have to really really for Realzies get organized....like a lot, so that I can juggle the music and the "acting" and work....which brings me to...

MASSAGE SCHOOL (grrrr)

I met with the dean of student affairs from Harper and presented my case and all the shit I had to put up with and how I felt that the program kinda sorta really sucked balls, and we came to an agreement that they would "let me" (fuckers) redo the hours of "unsupervised" clinic time. Which really isn't that much (like 16hrs) (sounds like a lot but not so much when it's out of 80hrs) BUT I also have to redo the second module....A(bloody)GAIN!!! ARRRGGG I'm sooo angry about that, but i need to breathe and take a chill pill and just focus on the fact that I can get my certificate and license afterwards and then bid that place fucking adieu. (sorry for all the swears, it just really frustrates me that society needs me to present a piece of paper to validate my skills and such) it's bs, and I have much more to say on the subject but the tylenol pm is kicking in and honestly I'd rather not get all riled up about it right now. SOOO, i have another meeting with the dean and the director of continuing ed on Thursday at 4pm to figure out when i'd be integrating with the next round of suckers and how long i'll be in there for, I want to do the day class this time because it will go by much faster. That also means I won't be looking for a "job" just yet. Which brings me to my next topic..

WORK

I had the privilege to work on a very influential person that gave me several contacts in the Medical/Health/Research fields, who can possibly "hire" me as a student massage therapist (since no licence = can't charge up the waaazoo) heheheh. (screw you system!!!) Thus making it possible for me to have a "job" and still pay the bills. PLuS!, I'd be networking and building up a portfolio, which I don't think I'll need right away since I don't plan on working for other people, It's MY businessssssssss. Although I might need it for when I move to Australia, which WILL happen, especially now that I'm gonna be licensed. Stupid paper and it's power. Just gotta save up for the move and the paperwork process. I've looked into it a while back so I know what to expect. I would have a higher chance of being accepted into the country if I was recently married... which i guess could happen in 2 years but.. meh... We'll see. I still have a hard time believing that marriage is real, i keep getting smacked with the harsh reality every five seconds. Maybe I'm just that scared of commitment..maybe. But i hear that when you find "the (infamous) one", you'll know and you won't be afraid and everything will just feel like its falling into place. And then I'll wake up. Lol, OH GOD!!! I JUST REALIZED i've become my worst nightmare!!!! I've become cynical about love. :O I swore I would never..... SHITTT This is bad people, really bad. WhAT SHOULD I DOOOO???!?!?! I Don't want to BE cynical about ANYTHING let alone the thing I admire most... dddamn it all.
HAppy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, baby kangaroos, multicultural melting pot, puppies, butterflies, ocean waves, learning to surf..., sydney.... sloths OH GOD nOOO, HAPPY thoughts.....sunshine, windows with pretty flowwy curtains, aussie accents,...not killer spiders,... not getting eaten by a shark, or worse...looked at by a sloth.. aahhhhh! Baby kangaroos, baby kangaroooos BABY KANGAROOOOOOSS! ...not getting kicked by baby kangaroos.

ok this girl needs to go to bed. mmmm i love smiling into the (bed)pillows. If you've never done that, try it, its lovely. It feels like hugs. Speaking of hugs, I guess i'd like one right now. The pillow will have to do tonight. (thats what he said) ewww sarah, ew.

Goodnight people thanks for reading my crazy.

non-cynical love,
Triple S.

Read It On a T-Shirt

2010-08-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

Read It On a T-Shirt

~"in dog beers i've only had one"

I wish i had a dog.

~"I'm so busy I don't know whether I found a rope or lost my horse"

I really want to stitch this on a pillow or something cuz I think it's pretty damn hilarious, you know why?? cuz its true! I've had that feeling where you don't know whats up or down from running around so much. I wish i had a horse too.

~"pasture bedtime" and its got a picture of a horse!!!! HAHAHHAHHA ohhh dear me.

~"butt quack" (they're actually boxers, with pictures of ducks laughing -in the rear) LOL my friends!!! L.O.L.

~"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but all the letters are in order like they should be."

I think this one is good one too. Especially if you've ever met an OCD person, or watched As Good As It Gets.

~"It is what it is"

This one reminds me of my longest and best friend (did i say that right? they're not "long" per say, but i've know them the longest) anyway we were talking about something one day and then we stopped and we looked at each other and she simply says "well.......it is what it is" and we both busted out laughing. What a good memory. Don't know exactly what it was about tho...Do you remember, Chris??

~"OH MY GOD my mother was right about EVERYTHING!"

I will inevitably come to this realization. Please be ready to prepare me a cocktail.

I hope you have enjoyed the product of my boredom and the fact that I got the mail first today. Otherwise these magazines end up in the bathroom with my father for a good half hour, then they're no good to me. You know, poop particles and such.

Love,

Sofia

i almost kicked in the glass window at the courthouse

2010-08-17T15:37:00.000-07:00

I am sO frustrated, I thought my insurance and courthouse fees had already been taken care of. I had PROOF!! Receipts, faxes, more paperwork, yet somehow I'm still on square one! WTFFFFFFFFF

I try not to be rude to people on the phone, but I guess I understand why it happens sometimes.
At least everything is cleared up and I know what really needs to get done. Im gonna be out another 700$ soon, soooooo yeah, I guess I gotta speed up the job search again.

I'm still going to move, only cuz in the end it's the least expensive option for me. (sanity)

There's a few Halloween stores opening up around here and I think I'll do that at least for now. I think i'd be fun! To see all the costumes, it might get crazy, but you know what, I feel pretty open to what life hits me with right now. I might have to vent about it on here but if I look at the positive side of things....They applied my payment to the wrong fee, but now I don't have to worry about paying that come January. I can't "legally" drive around like i'd like to, but at least I'm saving on fuel. I don't have a job at the moment, but it gives me time to pack!
My friends are going to Vegas tomorrow, and I'm not going, even tho it was SOOOO hard to turn down the invite cuz I had the money, but I knew I'd have the rent coming soon and I wanted to save some up to have just in case a new job doesnt come as easy as they usually do for me (kind of a curse ;), plus i have other debts I'd like to pay off asap. Yeah, leaving your pimp is not an easy process, but freedom is worth it!!! HAHAHa [(that was a joke, hence the "hahaha"....cuz I'm my own boss! (again, joke)]. I'm pretty proud of myself for not having bought the ticket to Vegas. Sigh, my day will come!! you'll see, and according to the fortune i found on the ground today....its gonna happen soon. "you will soon have your moment of glory"

Travel in my future. Aka: get me the hell out of my bubble

2010-05-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

I was told if you write it down, it's more likely to happen.........

**Colombia -May/June : Traveling with two other ladies to Bogota, Medellin & Cartagena.
**Denver -June : Day Nurse to my bestest cub! And the Mustang Round-up.
St. Maartin? -June/July : Celebrating Tiff's Law School Graduation at their time share.
Wisconsin or other grassy field -July : Popping Keiter's Camping Cherry for her birthday (against her will, so it should be interesting)
Boston? -July or August : The Sweetest Thing inspired road trip. (Keiter fell for a groomsman..he lives in Boston right now)
Wisconsin- July : Manny wants to go camping for the fourth of July. (Like good ole times!! Except butt-face in-law will be there too) (Someone tell me how to stop hating him!)
Las Vegas - August : Cuz I've never been!
Mexico -September/October : It will be cold soon. The cousins want another "Colima, Mex" adventure!
New Zealand/Australia - October/November/or December : Before I live there for two years, I need to check things out.
China -Sometime within six months : A Colima, Mex trip friend is in China doing a show for six months. Why not visit? The Sherman girls might have flight hook-ups cuz their dad is a pilot...(crossing my fingers, China would be AWESOME!)

Everyone and anyone who would like to join me/us for any or all of these is very welcome to! (Oh, except the one to Denver, she's all mine! And I get to see my Ambsss too!)

* = Definite trips
** = Booked

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Maybe some day you'll join us." jl

"If I'm an angel why wouldn't I build my castle on a cloud in the sky?" sc

Hey you, yeah you reading this. bite me!

2010-05-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should be a bitch more often. That way people wouldn't be surprised and utterly offended when I tell them why I'm pissed about something they did. God forbid I have feelings and voice them to you. Thank you "friend".

Ok Universe...........you win.

2010-04-17T20:52:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to go on a blind date with Magda and her boy and me and one of his friends today. This morning magda says her boy had a family thing and that we'd have to reschedule. It's a good thing I didn't have my hopes up for this. I really couldn't care less actually, it seems that every time I try and get out there in the dating world, something stops that from happening. Maybe I'm trying to hard, maybe i'm not trying hard enough, which ever it is, I'm tired, and i'm sneezy from all the allergies, and I just want to be carefree and not worry about spinsterhood requirements...or the fact that I possibly meet too many of them. Whom ever it is God/the Universe/other fate directors has in store for me, I'm taking a hint and backing off, apparently I'm still too doughy and not ready to come out of the oven. Maybe my future hubster is the doughy one, mmmm uncooked batter. lol For serious tho, did anyone else ever feel like there is someone out there for you, but its just not the right time or something?? It seems to me like i've been looking for him since i can remember. I've always been proud of how much patience i have (in most cases) but I can't do it anymore and I'm just gonna sit this game out, perhaps my love is the hot dog vendor and i've been on the court this whole time.
See, its like i expect love at every corner, and its becoming painfully obvious that that is not the case. I do have the love of my friends and family, and I love them so much for that. But my friends won't be single forever, and the thought of being alone all my life is a scary one. Maybe thats what God wants, maybe. Does anyone remember that game called Careers?? You got to pick between Fame, Fortune, and Happiness. Who says we have to live just one? I used to pick Happiness, (most of the time anyway ;)

be right back

2010-04-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

Did you miss me?!!? I bet you did, you just didn't want to say so.

Hi you beautiful people, just here to inform you that i will be back with everything thats happened this year and some things from the past such as this past winter's trip to mexico, our eye surgery, Big Brown Eyes's debut show!!!, picture blogging and much more, Oh and school, and my plans for not planning for the future (lol).

Late nite with me.

2010-01-28T22:24:00.000-08:00

I was going to workout for a little bit but my grandma and aunt are staying in the basement, which is where the treadmill is. :( Good thing I got half hour in on my lunch today. I've been making progress with the whole getting in shape, it's been uber slow but I'm hoping it will pick up in pace once I'm done with school. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE DONE!!! I AM SOoooooOO gonna party at my graduation/birthday party. I still can't but shake my head at the thought that I've been going to school for several years now. Meh....it happens. I'm happy with my life right now. Of course it could use some tune ups, ie: I could be a tad (ton) better at budgeting, being on friggin' time, keeping my room in non-Haiti status, you know, little things like that that mostly annoy yourself.

Some music developments since the last one.

We changed the band name from Sibel Charlotte to Big Brown Eyes. I love both of these names but we can only use one of course. (although Sibel Charlotte's Big Brown Eyes has a nice ring to it) (too long sarah! too long!)

Due to some set list changes, Karla will be doing lead vocals for all the songs of our first show. The one I was going to do was a little too different from the rest of the line up. And it also would have needed a little more work (musically speaking).

It's very strange this preparing for a show thing. There's a whole bunch of things we have to change/add for a live show. Since pretty much all the music is done by computer and that does not sound very cool on stage we had to think up things to do, I will be playing the bass for whatever songs I manage to learn by then, Nicole Keiter will be playing the Flute (which sounds AMAZING by the way, she's been playing it her whole life and she's gotten recognition for her talent.....so I'm not really sure why she's in our band....but AWESOME! I'll take it!), Erik is going to be on the keyboard. I am hoping to fit in a couple surprises but we shall see how much time we have to spice it up further. You must understand.....I've been playing the bass for a total of two weeks so far.....yup. It will be simple 'plunk plunk' lol, I ain't no santana!! no wait....whos a good bassist....Deon Rexroat!

I'm getting very excited about the show, it should be really fun. For all :D I hardly get nauseous when I think about it anymore. I think it helped a lot that I won't be doing any lead singing this time around. For a girl with mega public speaking issues...its a lot to expect. But to be honest I'm living more than a dream already, having people hear something we created....*sigh....I can't even explain it. And it's not even that the lyrics will be great or anything, i mean common, its our first album but, still, it's quite an honor to be a part of a creative process I admire so much. I really hope everyone enjoys the simple honesty that went into those songs. I will try and write some more sophisticated things in the future lol.

I love you all, I really do.

Fifteen minutes till Federererer and Tonka Truck play at semifinals!! These are the games I like, suspense...who will get closer to glory?! Its too bad I had forgotten about my other boyfriend Rafael Nadal, which I read dropped out due to knee injury? Wtf mate? I'm pretty much already a muscle doctor......come hither and let me fix you...and then you can teach me some mean backhands. OOoOo and also that slicy thing where the ball has no idea which way it's going.

Mexico via Netbook

2009-12-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Mexico, I leave this Sunday at the butt crack of dawn. (hahhahahaa thats what the next twilight book should be called...Butt Crack of Dawn) (just kidding......there shouldn't be a next twilight book, unless its Midnight Sun cuz Ed's version was way more interesting) (ooooO they should have a Jacob onE! He was so funny!! and more real (yeah more real....cuz real people can turn into dogs when provoked). (why am I talking about Twilight?)

I bought a netbook. It is so cute and its red cuz Best Buy didnt have any other colors. I think they're just holding out on me but, I have no time to hold anything of the sort.
I am bringing my external harddrives with, (bite me Ian!) {He's from Colorado and doesn't like that Chicago people can end their sentences with the word 'with'.} so that I can organize my pictures and pre blog them so that when I am in the vaccinity of internet I can post them up! WooHOoOo AAANd this way I won't forget whats going on in the pictures.

Yesterday I think i had a weeks worth of sodium. I had chicken mcnuggets at mcd's cuz i wanted some and i was in a hurry. Luckily I had gone thru the banks' drive thru first and discovered the frozen window problem. I wiggled it frantically until it came loose and presto! Chicken nuggets. Later at school i had a cup of that ramen soup (which i love but usually don't have cuz that cafe makes the best chicken salad sanwiches ever, and i eat that instead). When i brought it into the class a girl says, "cup of salt for dinner?". RUDE!! What business is it of hers what I eat. She doesn't hear me saying "spreadable dog tasting crap for dinner?" (she has hummus a lot) (I only like certain types of hjhjhummus).

MEXICO!!
I am so very excited to go! But I can't really feel the excitement right now. This always happens, I get nervous tummy and stress over packing and my dad's stupid packing deadline.
I understand why he has it but it just doesn't fit into schedule. So I end up packing the night of the deadline, usually still waiting for one more load of laundry, finishing at about 3-4 am....leaving about an hour of sleep. Luckily we ride in the bed of the truck and he sets it up all nice and cozy with a heater and tons and tons of blankets. Its SOO FUN!! (not being sarcastic).

bones

2009-11-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

I have a Bones test today. I will most likely get 100% as I did in last weeks Reflexology test.
Things really do sink in the second time around. *sarcastic smiley face*

I feel like doing something crazzy. I haven't decide what yet. If you have any suggestions, bring it on!

In the meanwhile, I will get back to entering bills.

Chiau!

cocodrilo

2009-11-16T07:16:00.000-08:00

I miss bloggin'.

Here's the haps.
I'm back in classes again and I still have a job! My sister's wedding is getting closer and closer so my freaking out level is getting higher and higher.
What's there to freak out about you say??
-ordering the bmaids dress
-bachelorette party planning
-becoming thin for boys to like me
-catching up at work
-catching up on picture posting (tantas fotos!!)
-trying to complete Sibel Charlotte's first album!! Just a few more songs to finish lyrics for!
-organizing my room (like for real, not just putting everything in drawers)
-saving money for Mexico, wedding related things, Christmas, bills and such, fixing my car window, Roth IRA account, etc.

But besides all that, everything is pretty darn good. God has been good to me. I've met some great new people this year, refreshed other friendships, and proved that some are never going to be broken. I have come to terms with the fact that I am in love and there's nothing i can do about it, the three-ish years of trying to move past it..well, its not working. So, whatever happens happens. Just kinda wish i knew what to do with myself in the meanwhile.
The music project was an unexpected (all the way from left field....while playing in the desert (no grassy fields, get it?) amazing fun thing, and I have no idea whats going to happen with it. Don't know what to expect of this but I am thankful and honored to be a part of it.
A lot of dear people in my life have gotten engaged or married and I am so happy that they have found someone to share their life with. And I can say it, I am jealous, because they are doing something really scary and against odds and eye rolls and statistics, they manage to say, we are a new generation and we will make this what we want. I hope i can have that kind of courage someday. (hmmm.....mental note: Reference to this when writing MOH speech)

I have learned more about myself this year than in all the ones before put together.

I know that from here on out, everything will be okay.

Thank you friends and family for being there, no matter what.

Love por siempre,
Sarah

Can't touch this.

2009-10-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Rowed 3,027 meters in less than 16 minutes.
80 pushups, nose to floor. (on my knees tho, its a little easier than full out plank, BUT STILL)
80 jumping pull-ups
100 crunches
80 dead lifts with a 50 (i think it was more, sure felt like it) lb bar thingy
23 more push-ups for the troops (the trainer is a Marine so...you know...loyalties and all)

Needless to say I'm feeling pretty damn good. I found myself thinking on my way home, "3,027 meters and no one to make out with!??!" I found that pretty funny. But anyway, yes, I am loving all this working out stuff, i do need to do more cardio but so far im doing really good, I don't look as "bloated" as i did a month ago. lol Hopefully by Karla's wedding I'll like how i look in a dress. :D

I hope everyone is having a great day and have a wonderful weekend! Ok I'll post a picture just because you bothered to read this.

This here is Tim the trainer/owner of The P.I.T. which stands for Primal something something...i'll look it up laters lol sorrrry. Here i took a picture of him stretching out someones calf while he did push-ups. PIT!

This is a heart for my Found Hearts Collection: Heart found on a potato. Do you see it?? I wasn't seeing them for a while. Then I went on a road trip from Florida to Colorado and I started seeing them again. I shall blog about such roadtrip next month.

Planty!! This is Planty (I haven't thought of a proper name for it yet. A lil help here??) I'm thinking Groco. Partly because the first two letters begin the word 'green' and planty is such color, and other partly because I made up the rest.

I love you planty.

That reminds me! I need to send someone a message about L.O.V.E.

Back it up!!

2009-09-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

OH EM Gee. I just worked out, and I can smell my sweat. Its awkward.

And now that I've said more than was needed, lets get to the topic at hand.

I seriously have some catching up to do on my P365 pictures. I HAvE taken one (...hundred) a day but i have not put them on the computer. Most I havent even extracted from the memory cards. EEEK A major project in its own thats gonna be because I have to make folders and get ALL my pictures organized. Having the internet at home is going to help cuz I can do it on my down time before bed and such. My goal was to put up at least two pictures tonight, but since I'm already here, I might just throw up a few more. (hold up..this bra has got to come off!! -------ahhhhh much better! moist. lol Its a good sign, it means I did good on the treadmill) Speaking of boobies tho. I am worried those will go down in size as the poundage goes down :/ I'll have to ask Tim what I can do about that. I'd like to keep at least a handful.

For those of you who don't know who Tim is, he is the owner of The P.I.T. (http://www.facebook.com/icepacks?v=feed&story_fbid=139656649406#/pages/Roselle-IL/THE-PIT/124064639561). A marine who will be making my life and body a living HELL! I have seriously not known pain like the pain I felt a day after each of the 3 times i have gone. The first day was THE worst in the world. My muscles felt like they were in a vise...on fire...with needles....being pounded every time I moved. BUT I could feel and see a difference Really fast. I haven't gone in a while cuz of school but I have this whole month of October and this last week of Sept. off of school so I will be goint to him again. Hopefully its not as bad as the very first time. Karla goes to him too, she went today and told him I'd be coming tomorrow. He said to bring gloves...or anything that would make doing pushups on the concrete comfortable. I'm thinking seven martinis and a trampoline couldn't make a push up comfortable, but alas, he knows what he's doing. (Tim is a marine and his job was to get the unfit marines in the shape we are used to seeing a marine in.)

Ok so pictures, right-o.

Day 4 - 08.20.09

I aquired these sandals from my dad a few years back. I needed some pool shoes so he gave me these.....I think.....maybe he let me borrow them and then they became mine. So anyway, on this day I came home from work, there was no one home and it was a really pretty day, cool, and sunny. I was feeling mellow so I took a bed sheet from my car (I use them for massage school. I don't randomly carry bed sheets in my car. I wouldn't put it past me tho, I have so much crap in there.) So I laid out the sheet in my backyard and put on my ipod and just laid there for about forty five minutes.

This is the view from were I was sprawled. It was so relaxing and peacefull that two songs into it, I turned off the music and just listend to the wind in the trees and the random birds flying, and a few squirrels scurring about.

A little ant kept crawling onto my sheet so I flicked it off (don't worry, they're resilient). One of the things I love so much about Illinois is all the greeeeeen. I really missed that when I was in Colorado, and when I visit Mexico.

Day 5 - 08.21.09

Karla killed a bug at the office and was just gonna leave it there! So I made her clean it up. She was not happy, but later became very proud that she was mearly inches away from a critter. (She is definately not a fan of the crawlies.)

When we came home from work we saw this note, left by my mom, on the kitchen island. It was uber comical for varies reasons:

One: She spelled Freaking wrong.

Two: She went from Spanish to English to Spanish again.

Three: I can SOOOOO hear the way she is saying it. She uses it all the time and its so funny because she acutually pronounces it "freeking" (emphisis on the EE).

Four: She left a note asking (as I know from experience) in a very angry way, where her scissors are. The woman is a whole different world. Oh my mami. <3.>

Later that day, I ran out to buy a lotto ticket, cuz you can't expect to win the lottery if you don't participate! Needless to say, this day was not a winner. But I'm in no hurry. I really don't need the money, but it would be fun to win!

That is all for tonight folks. I know it was only two days but it takes me forever to write an entry, also since I choose to do more than one picture a day, it takes up time. I still need to shower and get some sleep because last nights "sleep" sucked more than a octopus's tentacle.
Which led to going into work around 2pm (yeah....YIKES).
Believe me, no one feels shitier than I do about my lack of commitment to my job. But hopefully I'm not too late to make it better. I've thought things thru and I really have a sweet deal going here and I can't just throw it back in my parents' faces.
It might be too late tho, I might have screwed the pooch. So don't be surprised if theres an "I've been canned" entry sometime soon.
We shall seeeeee.

Wish me luck? No, I think integrity is the correct word. Wish me integrity. please. :)

progress?

2009-09-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a new computer today!! I took my poor old comp. to our people. (that guy loves us, we have given him so much business he gives us pretty sweet deals now) So it turns out something was wrong with the hard drive but they got all the info they could off of there. I'm crossing my fingers for the sake of all my pictures.
So to fix the computer would be a total of 150$, but its an old old computer, slow, and little memory. He said it would only be 50$ more to get a new one. I said umm...YEAH! How much more for wire less internet thingy...? 39$. Woohoo!! I'm supposed to pick it up after work, which is in about 3 mintutes!! He said all these computer words that I can't remember anymore but they made sense at the time, thanks to Christie and Ian who have edumacated me in some comp. lingo. It sounds like it will be A LoT faster (3.something .."computer word") and more memory.

I AM SOO excited to start up my ROsetta Stone French again and to actually keep up with the 365 pictures, and this blog! Oh man, so many pictures to upload.

On to another subject.

Margarito, a guy from my mom's choir, gives free guitar lessons on fridays from 7 to 9pm. That is where I will be today, it doesn't hurt to check it out. I have a great great great guitar Christie gave me and yes, I am also learning the electric bass, but, who says a girl can't multi task? I'm starting to realize that just because I say, "I'll do it later", doesn't mean I'm gonna. So there. No more waiting to get the computer fixed....DONE.
No more waiting to be good at one thing....Learn it all. Back to back...might even be easier. Who knows. Just because I'm lonely doesn't mean I have to be bored. (that was unnessesary information....whatever....I'm a gleek now, and I'll express my feelin's.)

Speaking of t.v. shows tho. True Blood is awesome!! However I am tres pissed that they killed Lafayette. (or at least thats what the show left me thinking) (anticipation makes a good thing last.....yeah....mY Ass it does! I want to know what happens NOW!)

Who is that floating behind me?

2009-09-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

I really should be going to bed, but instead I'm going to talk about my feelings.

Odd, I feel the safest talking to the "www". Maybe cuz it has no input what-so-ever. It lets me make up my own reality. My own diluted/creative/harsh/hopeful conclusions of what my life has been/is/should be/will be.

I can safely say that only ONE thing went the way I planned it today. The things that were planned ended up in disappointment. The ones that were unplanned, were delightful.

The one thing that went right (you're not gonna believe this....) was that I was on time leaving my house. It was brutally close tho. I ran out THE minute I had planned for. Of course I didn't know this at the time, I just assummed I was running late.

Lets start from the beginning shall we. My friend Amber needed someone to drive with her from Florida to Colorado and she generously paid for everything. I feel awful about that, but I guess thats just one of those things. I can't really afford to pay for it myself but she doesn't want to travel that far by herself. I don't blame her, its much safer to have someone else with you.

My flight was at 1:27 I believe, and I planned it so that I'd get there about an hour and 35 minutes before departure. Mistake number one: should have calculated at least one hour before BOARDING TIME. Lesson:Learned.

Mistake number two: Apparently you can check-in on-line now, which I was reminded by Amber but was already off schedule cuz the couple hours I planned at work today turned into a few hours..and then some. Thank you mother. (NOT). Lesson: Check-in online whenever possible. Computers are the new thing...haven't you heard?

Mistake number three: REMEMBER remember whether you are checking a bag or carring it on. The last thing I did as I ran out the door (literally, RAN....barefoot with shoes and socks in hand with a ziploc bag in my mouth) was grab my keys off the table because, one, you never know who's taking you home (i.e. you might need to let yourself in on your return home), two, i needed a key to my friends house in Colorado in case we got there really late and didn't want to wake them up (yeah we close like that), three, I didn't have time to take off these keys to create less bulk. Half way to the airport I realized my awesomely purple spiderco blade was on there. OH NOOOOO. What to do, what to do?! The way I saw it, I had three choices: Uno - Ball up the keys and shove it deep in my carry-on, hopefully they wouldn't look too closely, if they found it I could play innocent "oh no! I completely forgot that was on there, please don't take it away, it was a gift and has very sentimental value" (that last part is true, thanks Ian). However I could not risk it being taken away, I get very emotional when people take things from me, especially when they were a gift. Option Dos - Mail it to myself. I had envelopes, stamps, and I know my address. Genius! Sarah you are the coolest. Unfortunately there are No friggin' mailboxes at the airport unless you are way deep in the motha 'ucka (thats what...nah, not this time) which defeats the purpose cuz I can't bring it through security!! GRRRRRR to the max! So option numero Tres - Check my damn carry-on.

Deflated of all my good/perferable ideas, I put my envelope, already addressed and stamped...multiple times for fear of not enough postage (thank you Korea), in my bag and knotted the zipper ties together for fear of it opening up and spewing my delicates and EARRINGS all over....where-ever it is bags travel through.

To make a long story.......well...short would be a lie....sooo.....less long: I was at the wrong Terminal (TIP: if your itinerary says 'airline' operated by 'airline', it bloody means the second one. What the F do I care who operates what!??! I just want to know what flippin' plane I'm getting on! If that's how you're gonna play it, might as well tell me what brand the tires are!)

There was two "agents" helping out the plethora of people, so naturally it took about 20 minutes to get someones attention, THEN they decided my question wasn't interesting enough and proceeded to help someone else. Once they got there jollys from them, they returned to me. Only to inform me that I was at the wrong terminal.

So off I trot making my merry way on the train thingy to terminal 3 and of course theres a line. So once I get there, again I am pointed towards a machine. I try putting in my itin. # and confirmation numbers but neither is working. The computer can't find my info, please speak with an agent. (Good luck) At this here terminal there were about 7 teenage looking slackers huddled behind the counter talking about god knows what (probably what color they're lunch box is this year) I finally get one to break away from the pack but alas, they can't help me, they are not an "agent".

Then what the hell are you doing behind this counter?! There was ONE agent....ONE and she was so busy pointing people in different directions and showing them how to use the machines that it was a while before she got to me...to tell me I had to use a credit card so it would read my name and proceed to tell me it was too late to check-in for that flight. (well no shit, it's only been about 45-50 minutes since I got to the airport.

I have to fly stand-by and the next flight is at 7:24pm. UGGGHHH what am I gonna tell AMBER!??!?!? For a second I entertain the idea of demanding I speak with someone higher up and insist that there is still time to check me in. But looking over at the teenage huddle.....I opt to chill at the airport till further notice.

I hadn't eaten anything all day so I got some lunch. (not the best choice in nutrition but you aren't the one who's gonna be here for 7 hours!) (i know i know....no excuse)

Started a new book Musicophilia by Oliver something.

Fell asleep on said book for a good 24-23 minutes.

This is the view from the window I sat in front of for lunch. I'm not even zoomed in. (and that my friend...is what I said)

Then I continued to read for another hour even tho I said I'd stop after half an hour and walk around. Its a good read so far.

If you've been to O'hare you might have come across that really pretty area with the colored lights and walls, and a section of those floor escalators (?). This one is a little blurry but it should jog your memory.

I had forgotten about it so when I saw all the color up ahead, I nearly squealed out loud at the photo opportunities. I took some fun pictures using my newly discovered technique of turning the camera really quick as you click the picture. The trick is to keep it pointed at one spot as you turn, for a better effect. Its really cool!

The quality on this here blogger is not too flattering to these images but they look fantastic on my camera and computer.

I walked around a lot checking out the little shops and trinkets. I complusively bought two books. Blink, and A New Earth, both highly recommended by my cousin Magda. I was about to tell the check out guy, "wait I don't NEED these", when he swiped my card. dang. Must be fate.

I still have a few hours to kill and I by chance happen to gander at the screens that have Departure and Arrival information. It so happens that they have changed my gate. A little annoying but no biggie really since I have three hours to make my way over there. I take my time, clicking away with the camera. As I am ascending via escalator.....(follow the white light)...three of my favorite things have melded (is that a word?? could have sworn I'd heard it before) together so that I leave the land of C~olor(favorite thing one but not limited to many other things) through glorious sunlight (favorite thing two but not limited to many other things) and into MUS.S.S.ICI hear "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" being played by Sam Cockrell Band (extremely and amazingly, super awesome best thing ever! to happen at the airport). THEEEEN a random passerby starts dancing, just plain out busts a move (more like a bagillion!). The band had one more song to play and they invited the guy to bust his moves in front of everyone. (seriously, weirdest thing to witness at the airport) I so admired this kid's guts to jam like that in front of everone.

Oh and did I mention the lead singer was the bass player ;). I'm watching the video I took of it and it doesn't compare in the smallest to the actual feel and vibe. I was exhalted (let me go look that up, not really sure what it means...brb) "2. sublime"-- that'll work.

Through-out the whole day at the airport I felt like this, like nothing could get me down. For a couple weeks i've been feeling like that. I should clarify, I've been feeling like that for the past 2-3 days, the other weeks i've felt more....out of my head. Not really like I'm here. Not in a creepy way, but my thoughts have seemed to run away and not come back yet. I feel like I'm witnessing myself go through life, jotting down notes. If I were to turn my head really really quick, I might just come face to face with whatever has been floating behind me. (I'd be careful not to pull a Linda Blair)

I get to my new designated gate and sit down, put on my head phones (which shocks me to think that I haven't felt the need to use them this whole time, about 5 hours of going without music....voluntarily. WHO AM I?!?!) (with the exception of the two songs performed by the band above)

I decide this would be a good time to finish the part two letter that I didn't finish in class the previous night. I won't have time to give it my usualy flair but i've been slacking on my pen pal duties, It will have to do.

Being human and all, I take a potty break and walk past another Departure Arrivals info screen and AGAIN they have changed the gate. So I grab all my shit, (hahahahaha eeeewww, girls don't poop, poop is gross)(really I didn't, just tinkled), and go to the "correct" gate. Except this one is the real deal cuz they're already reading people's names off the stand-by list. My name is fourth on this list and according to the yellow text on the screen, there are only 3 seats availbable. I still wait around, just in case, like I do for many things (sometimes if I'm pretty sure I'm driving in the wrong direction, I keep going, thinking "maybe this next light, maybe this next light, what if I turn around and its the next light?"). You can see where a girl can go a little off the rocker.

I follow barely enthusiastic instructions from an "agent" (you can't hear it but I am saying that word with anger in my throat) to go to customer service to find out what I'm supposed to do with myself. ("Cuz when I think about you ......" looove that song.) There I wait for a tiny smidge over an hour but FINALLY, someone with a personality assists me and after hearing my boohoos she puts me on the next flight available (next morning) AND waives the one hundred something fee, basically because I didn't know the whole "operated by" hollabaloo. Seriously.....what percentage of cotton is used on the plane seats???(<----that was me being sarcastic, in case it doesn't come thru via text).

I call my daddy to come pick me up. And here I am now. Bloggin. And now I am done. I will go take a showa, go to sleep, and get up early and go to the airport extra early! Then road trip time!!

Everyone please please please send happy thoughts to my bag that it is hopefully sitting by itself in a safe place at baggage claim, just waiting for me to get there.

Bon nuit.

P.S. I cancelled the uploading of the video because it was taking FOR-ever.

Gentle buzzing vibrations.

2009-08-31T11:28:00.000-07:00

Two things did just that this weekend. My mom's bees and my new external hard drive. My friends Christie and Ian gave me an extra one they had. Currently without a functioning computer and having my pictures and music on random computers here and there, started getting a little too uncomfortable for me. Plus I was taking over their memory.
So thank you soo sosososososos much Christie and Ian for helping me out there. You saved my information and my bank account.

I had a mini panic when I plugged it in this morning and nothing happened. But it turns out I had to jam it in really hard, damn loose slot. [;)]

Listening to: Cold War by Brandtson (Earthquakes and Sharks by Brandtson was the first song I ever posted on my Myspace a few years back) (Not sure if they're a band still. "Nobody Dances Anymore" is really good too, check it out....GOtta love teenage boys with nothing to do!

Question to the readers:

How do you stay organized?

Mom/Boss will not be in the office Tuesday and Wedneday. YOu know what that means.

2009-08-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Project 365 update tomorrow. Also Pictures from Milan's BBQ 2009

Karla says my blog is depressing.

2009-08-24T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ok so most of the postings are sad, but hey, this is where I let it out. I do it so that I avoid talking someone's ear off. Here I know that I get to say what I want and I know you have the choice to stop reading before you take a razor to the wrist.
BUT I will from now on be a little more conscious of this and also include my good times in here.
However, this will not be a happy one.

Last night I saw a man laying in the middle of the street. There was a crowd around him and bits of glass everywhere, I didn't see a car or anything so I'm thinking it was a bike or motor cycle. There was a lady standing about ten feet from him yelling towards him that 'help was on the way'. A man "Walter" was standing hovered right above the man's head. Stopping traffic that was approaching. The lady screamed WALTER really loud and I can only assume it was because she noticed the man was trying to get up and making very very very 'haunt my dreams' kinda noises. I thought about pulling over and helping out but the more I started at the situation, the more panicky I got, which is not like me. I remember thinking, ok obviously someone has called for help there are about 5 other people/cars pulled over, they have enough spectators, the man on the ground is obviously breathing. The assesment that things looked "under control", I believe is what let the fear settle in. It was for sure the longest red light in history. I couldn't take my eyes off him laying there on the ground, groaning and trying to roll over. When the light finally turned green and I could drive on forward I saw across the street a truck pulled over to the side and a man consoling a lady who seemed to be very distrought. I'm assuming she was involved, perhaps the cause of the accident. A mile later I realized I hadn't blinked, my stomach felt hot and prickly, and I had a knot in my throat. I was getting desperate not hearing a siren anywhere. I was on the main road, I would definatley would have heard a cop or ambulance on its way to help the man. As I turned on Hillside to go towards Mundelein I saw the flashing lights down the road and I finally breathed deep enough for my eyes to water and blink a few times.
I know the situation was under control and that if I had gotten out, the surrounding people would have asked me to stay back. But I dont' know that and who are they to tell me that anyway. Maybe I could have offered the man a little more comfort, sat down next to him, a hand on the shoulder....something, or even asked him his name (not that those people didn't but only ONE person(Walter) was in reach of the man and he wasn't holding his hand or talking to him at all. I would be so scared if I was the person laying there. Why do I over think things? I should have simply offered to help.

I very much hope he's ok.

Project 365 and other. I wish I could have come up with a better title for this entry.

2009-08-19T05:48:00.000-07:00

Sarah has started Project 365. This (according to Christie) is where you take a picture a day and post a little bit about it. If there's more to that please tell me. To be honest I think the real challenge (for me) will be taking ONE picture. Of course I have not taken just One picture, but now my dilemma is...should I post all the candidates for that day's picture? Or will that get out of hand? Maybe I don't care what you think (I do) and I'll still post several for that day, or as many as I wish to as long as I do at least ONE each day. SOunds like a plan to me.

Here are the Day One Pictures: 08.17.09

This is Posole. It is a traditional Mexican dish. It consists of hominy, chicken broth, green tomatoes, onions, garlic and chicken meat. Usually made spicy by my grandma but this time she went a little easy on it cuz she knew we would be having some. Karla and I aren't huge on the spicy stuff.
Arroz y nopales. Rice and cactus. Yes, cactus...with onions, it's pretty good but I didn't have any this time because I was busy with the posole and rice. My grandma came to the office this day (Monday) for lunch and to bring us some food. My grandma is the best cook I know.

Here is my mami, she is enjoying her bowl of posole. She turned towards me while I was taking the picture cuz she just kept hearing the clicking of the camera. She asked me why I was taking pictures of her eating. I think you can see that in her expression....priceless.

Here we have my eyepod atop my amp, my base and it's scarf lest it get dusty, a piece of paper where I was working on some lyrics for the "You're My Everyday Fill in the Blank" song. I added the smiley face because well...this is where my happy lives. (part of my happy, the other part is somewhere I don't know yet...or do I?)

Day Two: 08.18.08

For some reason our office has a gigantic time card holder. There are only TWO employees that use this. I think its cool I get to stick my time card on pretty much any given slot any day of the week. I tend to stick to the top 14 though.

On my way to Magda's house I drove by a pond on Ela Rd. I decided I should snap a picture of it but I had already driven past it by the time I made up my mind, so I turned around and pulled over. The view from the other side of the road was better but I was in a bit of hurry. The picture looks more peaceful than what I felt like at the moment taking it. I felt unsatisfied and torn whether I should get out of the car, there wasn't much space for getting out and I didn't want to give people a reason to pull over and be like "is everything ok?" Who knows, maybe by day 117 I won't give a hoot where I have to stand or stop traffic to get a good shot.

This is another photo of the same place just a little more zoomed in. Again I'm a little angry at myself for not getting out of the car. Next time. I also like that the little plant thing to the right (the tallest one) almost looks like a heart.

Day Three: 08.19.09

My Church. This morning I felt like listening to KLOVE. Its a Christian station that happens to play some pretty awesome music. Not to mention it makes me feel better, sometimes praying doesn't feel like enough. I gave the buttons a quick little sweep with a napkin because my car is filthy right now. Not an endearing filthy, but an oh my goodness how can she possibly let people in here, kind of dirty. I'm Sorry car!! I will clean you sooooon!

Now this is a bit weird. I pulled into the driveway at work and I immediatly saw the way the sun was coming in through our back yard. I took quite a few pictures but the reason I chose this one is because this is the second picture I've taken that looks like JEsus is in it. KLove...JEsus Face....coincidence?? I do pray for his presence in my life always...sooo..... I think not.

Thats it for Project 365 Today.
The following is just random stuff.

"even if i say it will be alright still i hear you say you want to end your life....not too late, it's never too late" -Three Day's Grace
This would be a good time to explain that (WOOO Paramore!!) during this entry (and who knows maybe future ones too) I will be randomly inserting the lyrics that I am listening to at that exact moment. I think this will spice things up a bit. Plus it will be a challenge to see if you can follow. "but god does it feel so good...cuz god it just feels sooooooooooo... just watch my wildest dreams come true" -Paramore.

I think someone put crack in my coffee this morning because I am Wiiiiireeeedd.

I'm thinking of going light brown with my hair soon. I haven't died it in a long time(ahhaha OH NO I KILLED MY HAIR!), I almost don't want to cuz of the chemicals and all that polluted jazz but, my body (stupid dieting) is taking forever to change and I need instant gratification to feel like my attempts are not futile.

"Let love win" -Fireflight

On another note. You know how on your birthday, you're a year older. But you don't feel any different..or older? But then randomly in the year, or every couple/few years you feel like whoa...I think I just matured a bit more. Well I just had that moment about an hour ago. It was thrilling. "do you feel better now as she falls to the ground.... a new life she has found" -Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

F this S

2009-07-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

GRR.

I am super annoyed with everything and most people. I just want to listen to my ipod and ignore the world. I want to eat blueberries and lay on the grass.
To think that I will be in Florida visiting my friend Amber tonight is the only thing keeping me from breaking something.....we can always get another stapler...right?

*SCREAM*
So frustrated with my life right now.....I might just cry as soon as I get on the plane.

HYDROCODONE/APAP

2009-07-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

Wooow Weeeeee!! i feel like singing and giggling like there's no tomorrow, but there is no one here to enjoy it with me. Sigh of loneliness. But not a depressing kind of lonely just a what-the-fuck-where-is-everyone kind of lonely. No wait i know the answer to that question. they are all in Colorado and stupid korea and chicago, and mexico and new zealand, and east L.A.

Before this mood altering pain killer kicked in I was gonna post about something but then they they kicked in and i passed out on my desk waking up slighty to the sound of me giggling every now and then. hehehe. I'm awake now (obviouslY!) but still feeling this amazing stuff. Which I should really be careful with because I have a soft spot for pills. Wouldn't want to be stupid about it. I DO have a reason for taking these and I probably should have mentioned that earlier so you're not thinking I'm a pill popper. My muscles are still in pain from bootcamp on Tuesday. They are feeling a lot better, but if muscles could cry, i'd be a wet salty mess.

What do you people want to read about? I'll take suggestions.

I'm going to win the lottery soon. Just wanted you all to know that. Ask. Believe. Receive.
What would you people do with millions of dollars??

My lottery List
1. pay off all debts
2. pay off all my parents bank loans and properties
3. Retire my parents and give them each a percentage of the money.
4. Give them both a percentage of the money.
5. Pay for my sister's dream wedding. If she wants penguins and cher singing "believe" then thats what she will get. Also a % of the $.
6. Reality show starring Nicole and Michelle Dworak
7. My own fashion/accesory line.
8. Travel Reality/Book -general ideer: Travel the world with a group of friends living in different places for about 3-4 weeks to get a more "real" idea of how the culture/people/geography is. All this will be documented (maybe not cuz I don't know how much I'd like cameras in my face all day long, buuuuut it would be a great way to learn for viewers). This will all be written in fun ways too. The book would guide future turists or potential implants to where fun places are to hang out at night, chill during the day, where to go for great pictures, best food, MUSIC!, ect. This would be for a few years...probably not forever because I'm pretty sure I'd want to start a family. (laaame, i know, but shut up, i want a korean monkey baby all my own)
9. Production company:
Will employ mainly students from schools of the arts to make films, music, dance. Sundance here we come!!
I want to involve programs for kids whose families don't have much money. They would assist in making movies/music/etc. (these would be smaller projects but the point is to help these kids get their creativity flowing and get them out of the streets). Its all a really big idea with many details im sure I havent thought thru yet. Chicago has great talent and now there won't be a need to move to New York or L.A. in order to get somewhere.
10. My favorite: This one will be my "personal" project.
Lounge/bar/venue/Cafe!: I want this place to have it all, part of the Travel thing will be involved here because whilst we travel it will be our job to discover new music to bring over and play at this lounge/cafe. Something different. Music of any type and any language will be playing all the time. It will be a 24 hour place. Some nights it will be open mic others we'll have a show, we can have club nights (i mighthave to just do a club completely separate), themed cocktail hour parties. Its gonna be awesome! The walls will be sectioned off and a different artist (local artist of course) will be able to display thier artwork right on the wall or hang something up. Whatever.
11. Since I'll be traveling very often, it would only make sense to own a couple places at my favorite locations. (not yet decided where but you are invited)
12. Last but definatley not least, I'd have to find a way to contribute to charities and organizations. possibley start up a couple of my own or implement it somehow with the production company and Club/Lounge/Cafe, percentage of benefits go to charity/org so and so.

So much you can do with money.
Or as we would say in spanish...."Con dinero baila el pero"

COmmmoonnn law of attraction..mama needs a new way of life.

:0)

13. Buy a dog and/or horse. Name it something random.....like paperclip. OOoOo OOooo or POST-IT! Can you tell I'm still at the office?

If I had balls and really really really really didn't care what people thought, I would write "BORED out of my (arrow pointing up)" on my forehead with a sharpie.

Fin (de esta vida predecible)
Tener tanto amor
y nadie a quien darlo
Toma valor,
Pero mas olvidarlo.

(I just wrote that, just now, that was awesome, me likey drugs)

"no se si tu quieres perderte conmigo....around the world viajando"

2009-05-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to realize you can have all the fun you need on your own. Don't get me wrong, im not one to be a loner... quite the oposite, I need to be around people I care about. Or even people in general. But its just not as detrimental to me to be alone (or "single") like it used to be.

I don't think I really knew how to be on my own until recently. It's more of a mental/spiritual/subconcious.....thing. Its very strange, I'm not even sure I know what I'm talking about.

I just feel really different. HOLY GRAHAM Cracker! is this what growing up feels like? ? Like you don't have a clue what is going on....but yet...it's all under control?? I know I've been feeling like I'm going thru a transitional phase from one chapter in my life to another, but, I didn't expect it to feel so.....seperate(?) from the rest of my life....(and yet not).

And then there's love. Back to the "on your own" stuff I began with. I think what I am trying to say is that I'm ok with being alone, if I need to go shopping, I can do that alone and have fun, if I need to take a trip, I can do it alone and have fun. In fact, this summer, I really want to take a roadtrip on my own, hopefully catch a concert. Yeah, thats right...alone...and have fun. (I'm bringing purple spider Co. (just in case).

I guess I'm just tired of waiting for someone to be my fun, to be the one I do everything with. I don't want to ever be in one of those relationships where they can't even go potty without the other one there cheering them on. I think it's great that they want to spend all their time together...and maybe (even hopefully) thats how it will be with me and whomever sometime, but I also want to know that I'll be perfectly fine on my own. That we can spend time apart and still be a functioning, fun/normal human. Unlike other couples who fall apart without thier significant other. Its endearing to a certain point. And of course I think its different for people who have been together for years and years and years, like old couples who when one of them dies the other one dies shortly. Its so sad. And goes to show how deep a bond can get.
But even if you do love someone so much you want to spend all day and all night and do it all over again forever....you still need to take time to yourself and just make sure you are still a whole person. Because you need to be complete in order to have something to give.
And then there's days I envy the ones that spend all their time together. Because when you love someone so much, you don't want to be anywhere else but with them, there is not a moment of their life you don't want to witness.

Whatever is in my head is having a hard time expressing itself, and I'm sorry, a little bit. But maybe you'll all still get a jist of what I'm trying to say. I really don't know why I'm even bothering to post this one. I don't think its for anyones information, more of a blah blah blah blah blog. It really makes no sense. But such is sarah. And I wouldn't have me any other way. Well that's a lie, but I'm ok with that ;)

"on second thought, make my potatos a salad"(-The emperor's new groove)

2009-05-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

So after untagging myself from pretty much every single picture of me from the past 11 days, I have come to the conclusion that I just might die soon. Seriously, if I keep enlarging at the rate I'm going, someone is gonna mistake me for a walking walrus and shoot me, hang my head on a wall, and put a plaque under my fourth chin....no wait...three...four..five...yup...fifth chin.

If only I looked as great as I've been feeling lately. But I have no one to blame, except drive thrus,...and Thai Garden...ok and Portillos too. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out"(-half baked). Good grief, I never thought I'd be blogging about this but here I am, venting about my fattyness, feeling sorry for myself that I don't have the will power to just stop the fuck eating when I'm full. It's as simple as that. Oh and walking around the block ONCE to jolt some life into my poor over-worked (probably) blocked heart. I am so angry at myself, I almost feel like shoving a cake down my throat. "Take that body! you want tasty things?!!?! well here have some more!! *shove shove shove*"

Seriously, it's making me very upset that I have let it get this bad. Yeah, I'm sure not EVERYTHING is my fault, there are some habits dealing with food that have been engrained in me since babyhood, but I think I'm old enough, and educated enough, to make better choices and not let "my engrained habits" be a get-out-free card.

Sarah to Sarah pep talk:

Sarah, I don't want to say I'm disappointed in you, not yet, you have one year to change your eating and activity habits. I'm not asking for a specific weight, I want better choices in meals, and when an opportunity comes along that involves more movement...go for it, none of this "oh my mind is tired, I need to veg and watch tv for the rest of the night" (because you know, its not just that night, its every night). So, dry clean your ball strap, polish your balls, and buy yourself a couple belts, cuz I assure you that even without "dieting", as long as you THINK before you put something in your mouth, you will lose weight, (that goes for non-edible objects as well) (you do tend to chew on a lot of pen caps).

And I believe that is all I wanted to say on the subject of fat ass.

Good day, I say Good day.

I seem to be having a dirty mouth kind of day. Here are some examples (in case the above post isn't sufficient proof):

"i blew through my tax return like it was a juicy penis"

"Love is such a retarded fuck head with nothing better to do than piss on your last cookie."

Just because I come here often.

2009-05-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

So Colorado finds me here once more this year. I was realizing as I'm giving directions to Amber that a year ago I had just been settling back home. You see, from Sept. 07 - May 08, I lived here (Colorado). Many people have asked me why I moved back to Illinois and to tell you the truth, it was for a lot of reasons, two of them more significant than the rest. One reason I moved back was because of my gut. My gut was saying I had to go back (no, that has nothing to do with Lost, but i am enjoying the fact that the concept was in the show), and when my mom called me about the job situation, I felt like it was a sign. I tend to listen to my gut a lot, it has usually led me in the right direction whether I see it right away or not. It was pretty crazy how fast it happened tho. Partly I think because of my impulsiveness, and party because I felt that was what I had to do. I had actually been looking for town houses to buy out here but that didn't work out for one reason or another. Then I decided to just rent my own apartment (since things weren't going all that great with one of my roommates, plus I just felt like it was high time I was on my own). The day after I had just spent a couple hours looking for places online, I make the choice to move back.

I am so confused as to why it had to be so dramatic. I mean, one day I'm looking for places to live, the next I'm giving my 2 weeks notice. I'm having a hard time believing that I would freak out SO much about staying put (even for a year or however long/short the lease would be) that I would just up and leave so fast. A giant part of me wants to say it was because the universe was telling me I had to do it, but the other part (stupid logic), is telling me that perhaps I'm still just a child inside that doesn't want to grow up yet, I still want my problems resolved by mom and dad, and that I don't want the responsibility of being a grown up(........alone). I've been so afraid of losing the kid inside, and knowing that once I'm "grown up" failure is no longer excusable by time, that I let that kid take over, and now she has forgotten that the rest of the kids are long gone, they have all moved on with their lives and made it an adventure to grow up. (isn't that what every kid wants anyways??? a great adventure). So now I'm sitting here in my pigtails and bloomers (not really..but that would be seeexxy), alone...just like I didn't want to be.

I think the whole purpose of that experience was to open the eyes of the little girl who now wants to grow up.

I don't regret moving back to Chicago even in the slightest, and I know there is still a lot of places for me to live and see, I also know that it will happen for different reasons, it won't longer be for running away from life or family or problems or questions, it will be for reasons I have not yet decided on (but you can bet your tookas it will be profound and approving-head-nod worthy).

For all of this, Colorado has a special place in my (clingy-ass) heart. Maybe Colorado will once again see my name in its zip code.....perhaps......someday....when winter lasts for two weeks.

A special thanks to Ian and Christie for being everything they were (and are) when I was living here, and all the times I visit. Thanks for your hospitality and caring hearts.

boo this girl!

2009-05-13T08:27:00.000-07:00

Boo to me for taking foreeever with new blogs and saying I'm going to blog about things and then not do it. I can't 180 my bad habits in one year people!! give it some time! I hear time fixes things. Its true. It's expensive but, the quality is unsurpassable. HA. that was all sorts of stupid.

So lets see what can I recap? I got to play VOLLEYBALL with Janet and her roomate! It was great! And very spontaneous, which I love. We walked over to Barrington High School (aaaahhh the memories, I was so much more ghetto back then). It was me and -----(forgot his name), against Janet, it was a pretty good game for three players. I still need to find a place/people to play with this summer. I have a few people interested, now I just need to figure out the scheduling and get some air in my ball.

oooww the flesh it burns!!

2009-04-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

Burn, Room, Colorado, Birfday, Dreams: gun/children/tiny fruit-vegetables/being nice.(to murderers)/in love with guy who got old and sick really really fast/, liars=disappointment....speaking of disappointment/male species.

So I'm about to go on my lunch break but I gotta go pick up my food (wooohooo! Panini!!). I don't want to forget what I want to write about so I threw together a tiny smidge of topics I want to expand on. (I used 'want' a lot in that paragraph). That is my explanation for the jibber jabber up above. (up above this paragraph (that's 'paragraph' twice!!(now thrice (ooo I like this word....thhhrrice....sounds like thhhhrrruust))?))..."up above this paragraph"(4) not up above in the sense of a zenith or something like that). Brb...but you won't know. You are shhmall.

Shall we go in timeline order or in order of stated above??
MEh, lets do it in order stated above.

Burn: :( Sarah burned herself on a pizza oven that was disguised as being "Off". It was the kind of hot you don't even feel until 8 seconds later when you notice the *body part that is being burned* is slowly melting onto the hot "surface" (I say this in quotes because it wasn't as much a surface as it was a corner....so the sharpness and the hotness did not help my latent reaction/situation). Anyone who has been burned knows that 8 seconds is A LOOOONG time to have skin to 300+ degree corner. Although it did take on an interesting shape. Some would say it resembles a mitten, others would say a 'V' or a letter 'A', then theres the people that think it looks like a heart. (that would be me, but I think everything looks like a heart....with a bubble of some sort of liquid inside that I'm too a-scared to burst. I checked it out again right now and it is fading away. Good! No longer a Bobby Ham Burn wanna-be.

Consider this the appetizer to tomorrows' main course of words sauteed in juicy details and a side of confusion. Untill next time..same time same place.
DISCLAIMER: (not really cuz i can't control what time/day you view this.)

Room: My room has been a disaster scene for some time now. (picture adventure to come) My father being the complex disciplinarian that he is, has decided to threaten me, he has made me sign a post-it stating that I will have my room reorganized and de-cluttered by a certain date and if it is not finished by then, he will proceed to de-clutter for me....in large heavy duty construction garbage bags. (he's done it once before....that time was without a post-it) (and to this day I miss my Rebelde uniform!! :( OHH THE SADDNESS!!) So I sketched out a new layout for my room and furniture and its coming along really really well! Definately not as fast as I was hoping (I'm pasted the contract date!) But surprisingly enough my dear ole dad has been very understanding of this. Maybe its because I've had a rough week....or because I'm almost done and he doesn't want to do the work of filling up bags of my stuff. For whatever reason, I am VERY thankful! From my closet alone I myself have filled THREE heavy duty construction garbage bags of stuff I don't need/use to give away!! Yay clutter free(ish). Getting rid of the old, making room for the new. After all this is a perfect time to cleanse and start fresh. I just started a new year (I go by my birthday) and new things are happening in my life so, yeah, good time to "start over".

Colorado: Was so awesome! Always is. Christie and I got some of her wedding stuff done. Center pieces, invitations, and music. I miss Colorado a lot, but I'm still very glad I came back. My intuition keeps impressing me....except for that one thing.
Christie is on this letter mailing, package sending kick (which is awesome!) and so I got sucked into it....more, cuz i was already sending stuff to Korea often but now I have more people I can mailest (hahaha get it!?!?? its like molest but with mail...common!! Its a good one).
I got to be the FIRST person to use the guest room! It was soooo comfy and the kitties were so

SON OF A BITCH!!!! Do you see what happened!?? my text was erased!! aahhhh porque?!?!? It was SO Much more!! ANd of course I dont remember what it was about! If I were an animal I would SOOOO throw poop at the computer (that would be the monkey). CURSES!!! BIG BOLDEN CURSES!! <------- ( I can't even Highlight correctly!) (I'm going to go scream into a pillow now)

(Birfday:) This part suffered some delete-age too. Mierda! Pinche Mugre Mierda!! (I feel less guilty cursing in Spanish)
e very very fun! I want to say thanks to everyone who came out. It really meant a lot. It wasn't a big crowd but that's exactly how I wanted it. If you are interested in knowing how drunk I was, know this, I had (what seemed like) a 30 minute conversation with my friends...about power rangers.
Ryan Cox was also spending that weekend out here with us (he lives in Wisconsin). I'll admit I was worried we wouldn't have anything to talk about cuz we've never hung out alone before and we were going to do just that for three days. I was very relieved that from the second he arrived we had SO much fun. Lots of laughter. Its a little bitter sweet writing about this because as of today, we are no longer friends. Its a long and complicated story that I really don't understand but I guess that's what I get for sticking my nose were it done belong. I want so much to be like 'whatever' but truth is I'm going to miss his goofy ass.

Wow, well that umm.....I can really bum it out can't I?! nlol(nervouslol)

OMG!! I forgot to say that I forgot my camera ON my birthday!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! That's like saying.........a dolphin forgot his blowhole! (did i just say blowhole?!!!) nice

I'm going to skip the dreams part for now and go to the thing after that cuz its shorter than the dreams part would be and I have a feeling I'm going to have to get going soon and I want to leave y'all with some material for the weekend cuz lets face it, I probably won't be blogging till next week. (watch I'm not gonna leave the computer all Saturday night...hehee...looooser!!)

Liars=disappointment....speaking of disappointment/male species: Ok the Liars=disappointment part is not going to be included in this because its got to do with the whole ryan thing and I don't want to make things worse. But speaking of disappointment/male species....I just wanted to say, neigh, ask, why is it that guys bother asking you for your phone number if they're not going to call!?!? Don't they think that hurts my feelings a little more than if they wouldn't ask to begin with?? Or maybe they like knowing that some girl (me being that girl in case you didn't get that) is foolishly waiting for a phone call. I know I'm not the cats meow.....(maybe a puurrrrr) but I'm not that terrible, really I'm not, I shower....on Wednesdays. You would know this if you talked to me.
No wait...ok, I'm thinking this through....maybe its a good thing they don't call, I'm not good with coherent conversations....hmmmm...but come on there's always texting! So there! NO excuse!

I'm confused...am I upset or grateful then??
aaaHhhh whatever I'll just turn lesbian. I know more girls that would want to date me than guys anyway.

Dreams:
to be continued, check back later dude.

the unfinished

2009-03-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

oaoaoooo that title sounds dooooming. (hmm, maybe a good title for a song? Where are my post-its i gotta write that down). The older I get, the stranger the English language seems to me.

I said there would be wine involved so here is the wine event:
Carla (my new friend from class, she is so sweet and fun, one of those people you click with right away, well i did anyway) and I went to a winery in Roselle that I didn't know existed. And I am finding that I don't know a lot of stuff that exists. You pay 7 bucks and you get a sheet of what the wines are for that month, there are some white, red, a highly acclaimed red (this glass is 9 dollars), and one dessert wine. I tried all of them except the 9 dollar one, we were going to but by the 7th glass (not full glasses but a pretty decent trial of each) we felt it was enough. :) The sheet of descriptions was entertaining because it told you what foods it was "gorgeous" with. I even tried the white wines and they were very very good! (I thought I was a red kinda person)(Actually I'm really a yellow person but thats another story I don't care to share)
There was something else I wanted to share. Dang it, my mind is just EVERYWHERE lately. uggh can't....seem....to ....concentrate....

In other news, I will be Visiting (don't know why I felt the need to make that a capital 'v') my friend Christie and will be back in April! Holy passing years batman!!! I'm going to be 26 in 9 days!!!! YIKES!! We will be doing lots of wedding stuff while on my visit, and there will also be some studying because I will be coming back to three test. Oh and also a take home make up test to do ON my spring break. What ever I think these will be a slice of cake and I will forge on with all A ++'s. That's the spirit! Go me!

until a later post.
i bid you adios!
(I only put adios because I can't spell the french version and I don't want to look it up right now. (SYNC FASTER IPOD!!!)

"sometimes it's just better to deal with the pain, and move on"

2009-03-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

Despite my sub par voice This is my Favorite sONg! (of Sibel Charlotte). Oh I should probably explain that Sibel Charlotte has a new song up called Secrets Do Hurt. Again, if you listen to it please give us your input! www.myspace.com/sibelcharlotte

UPDATE:

My sister is ENGAGED....in illegal activities....NO just kidding! (I'm in a stupid mood........you'll survive it, don't worry, keep reading...there's wine involved). So yeah my chicken is engaged and I just remembered I was supposed to put up pictures of the ring. Dang it!!

You can't tell from reading this but it has been some hours from the last paragraph, it is now 1:15 am and I am so not gonna have enough energy to finish this blog and have it be the nonsense that you come to expect from me. Therefore I will retire to my place of residence ( I had typed out "home", then backspaced it because it did not sound right.......that's a little sad and scary at the same time......I wonder which is worse? ....maybe its not either..[I totally could have used the word neither (stupid I, E!!!!!!!WHERE'S THE DAMN 'C' HUH?!?!?ANSWER ME!!!!)but I changed my mind]......maybe its my use of ellipses and run-on sentences)

well what do you know....nonsense....it worked out.....

...for now.

i'm just sAying...

2009-03-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

This morning I got woken up by some angry and rapid footsteps towards my bedroom door. ~SarAH parate imediatamente y ve a ponerle la funda a la almuada de esa cama! Donde esta la almuada? De segura la tienes tu! Y ponme todas mis savanas y mis tuallas con sus pares!~
-English version- ~ Sarah get up right now and put the pillow case on the pillow for the other bed! Where is that pillow? I'll bet you have it! I want all my sheets together and all my towels together!~

What am I room service??!?!

Then right before work I get another helping of high volume words. In the catagory of no one can count on me for ANYTHING.

Ok so here is my defense.

The pillow: I took the guest bed's (if Karla knew I was calling her room anything with "guest" she would have me shanked) (thanks Bobby for that word..I am enjoying it)) pillow because my pillows are made with down feathers....and I am allergic to them, they make me all stuffy and what not. So theres that excuse.

My Dependablility: Mami is ABSOLUTELY right. This is something I've known but kinda dealt with it by NOT dealing with it. I'd say to myself, well people will, and do, deal with it if they want me in their lives. And that is sooo not fair.
I'm not gonna say...Oh I'm gonna change I'm not gonna do that anymore, because I'd be doing what always gets me in the situation where I end up being irresponsible and undependable. I'm very quick to agree and to say yes to things. So what I need to do is stop and think what it is people are asking of me and not be so eager to please. I love my friends and family and I believe I do have an issue with not being cared about so I jump on whatever opportunity there is to make someone appreciate me. What I'm starting to realize is that I make it worse by disappointing these people. I think disappointment feels worse than to just be like 'no sorry I can't drive you to Chicago' or 'let me check my scccchedule and I'll get back to you'. For serious. Why do we fuck up our own lives sometimes?
So for future notice if I take time to answer your request or say no, please don't take it personally, I'll just be trying to figure out if it is something I WILL be able to do or accomplish so that I don't let you down later.

Love ya'll.

~The one and only....me.

On the sneeky sneak

2009-03-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

I'm at work, and not supposed to be doing nothing but, this isn't nothing now is it??

First things first. Thank you to everyone and their very nice and helpful compliments on Sibel Charlotte. This whole thing has been totally unexpected and surprisingly surreal and FUN!
Its crazy the turns that life take you through. (I'm listening to a song and its saying "how do i get you alone" which for some reason is creeping me out. I would usually consider that sweet) (hmmm..) Anyway, its been a busy busy couple of weeks and I can't wait till thursday cuz thats when Christie is coming in! WOO! I only get her for a couple days because she is also visiting another friend. LUCKY! Then on friday we are going over to Frank's (Erik) to record (hopefully a waaaay better version of) Mi Vida (Si, No), this is a song in Spanish (in case the title didn't give it away) YAY! Possibly Christie and I will redo one of Eriks songs from before. Christie actually HAS a voice so it should be great. Also I believe he is looking into putting our stuff on itunes, just to see what happens, it turns out its not crazy expensive to do that so this way we can get more of an idea of what the larger public thinks of it.
And some people have been asking me.....more like affirming..."so you're gonna be a singer now?"
Right now the answer to that is (Hell) no. If you are asking Erik its (hell) yes. I for sure know that music is something I want to work in. Ideally a talent scout or working in the 'finding good/different artists' field. I love bringing new aritist to my friends' life, and if I could do taht for a larger range of people....then SUPER! But as for singing, I have no training in it, I (as of now) am too self conscious, I'm doing this cuz we don't really have someone to interpret our stuff like we want and I WILL do my best up until it doesn't work anymore or we find someone that fits.
AGain ThaNK YOU EverYONE!! Your support and honesty means a LOT. :)

Moving on to a different topic. I went out with my cousin Magda last weekend (02-28-09) (the dates are for my benefit, i forget stuff A LOT and would like to have a more accurate timeline when i'm an old hoot and am looking back at these entrys with joyful sighs and tearful reminiscings (i had to look that last word up)). We went to a latin dancing place with her boyfriend's sister and his sister's friends, who are really cool and fun. So I got my latin bliss on and the only neg. about it all was that my super awesome purple shoes with purple jewels got a little ruined. One of the jewels fell off of each shoe :( , knowing me i'll probably just fill it in with a purple sharpie tho...and good as new!

This past weekend (03-07-09) was the Michelle and Nicole's birthday party at Rebel (which reminds me I should put the pictures up tomorrow). It was a really really really really fun time and it was great being vip cuz i didnt have to deal with cash. Also I met a fine fellow who ended up asking for my number so......lets see if he's really into me...lol...(watch He's Just Not That Into You for reference). The night took quite the downhill turn (oh and before I forget I didnt know the time change was supposed to be that night, which every year when it happens it seems to shock me...like...oh my gosh already!?? Crazy me) (i bet you thought that was going to lead up to a really funny/great story, you should know better by now people!) I feel really bad for the twins cuz there ended up being a lot of tears for both of them.....and very cold french fries I'm sure. I really didn't know how to console either of them....especially since I don't want to take sides. But as the song says....."its my party and I'll cry if i want to". I just hope their week gets better, they will get their birthday massage and breakfast some time later. Love you ladies!

And that is all for now because I have to get ready for class. I hope we get worked on tonight. My back and shoulders are all kinds of tight and torked.

follies and what not lickin lollies

2009-02-27T22:07:00.000-08:00

Today was an amazing day. It started with me wishing I didn't have to get up from the comfy king size bed I've been sleeping in, (thanks Chicken for not living at home). I swear the comforter makes you feel like you're in a blanket made of clouds......if clouds were stuffed with down that you are allergic to........its worth the extra mucus.
The schedule was to be at Erik's by 9am....but it's me sooo......yah...I forgot the lyric books & I had to drive back home and get them...making me late....as always. I should really just give up trying to be on time for things. Or something more responsible.
For those who don't know who Erik is (aka Frank)(most of you who read this have met him at the GMS fiestas), I met him through one of my really good friends, Amber. Him and I totally get along well and we are both OBSESSED with music. So thats what I was on my way to his house for.....music!
We laid down some vocals (took a few trials) and made some pretty significant and AMAZING additions to the music (this was Eriks genius). Then he made some noodle meat thing thats really good and actually I haven't eaten since then and its now 3:01am so I'm pretty damn hungry but I haven't blogged in a while and I rarely have this chunk of time on the office computers to just hang out in the web....therefore I have not and probably will not eat till 9ish later today. Its ok, I'm equipted for this kind of sitchiation.
Almost six hours later we have a final song. And me likey. I still don't know how or why I agreed to do this with him but regret it I do not!

My first song.

2009-02-17T10:48:00.000-08:00

So Eric/Frank and I had our own little pow-wow for Valentine's Day. We saw He's just not that Into You, and we both liked it a lot, it had a little bit of everything. Then we had dinner at my favorite thai place then he came over to my place ( I know how that sounds but its not like that lolimh (lol in my head). He busted out his guitar and we got right to work on turning one of my "songs" into something real. Long story short, 5 hours later we've completed a song. It was so much fun and the feeling was so surreal. He is currently at home recording the music and adding more instruments and what not.
I just can't believe we did something I admire in all of my favorite artists. Of course I'm not assuming this will go anywhere near public, at the most a few of his friends on myspace will have a listen.
The experience was amazing and I hope we get to make more sweet music ;) together. There's already another "song" of mine next in line to be converted. Oh and Eric!! I'm working on another one called Strawberry, Blueberry, I feels promising.

I love our baby! Thank you so much. You have NO idea.

Things that make you go mm mm mm.

2009-02-17T10:14:00.000-08:00

I've gotten to spend time with some friends this month. Tory, Amber, Eric/Frank, Magda, and my sister. I also had a really good conversation with Christie. It was one of those conversations where you're hearing things about yourself you did, yet didn't know. You know? Thats what you get for knowing someone for 15 years...honesty and insight. Happiness is where I make it. Right-O! I have a lot of things to think about and figure out. I guess I'm looking for happiness in the wrong place....how cliche.....this aignt no movie son! So if a specific job isn't my happiness or "someone'' or some place isn't my happiness. Then what is? Where and how do I find it? According to the last episode of Lost that I saw (the one where Sun loses her wedding ring-season two-) she was told that you find things when you stop looking for them. I'm not sure I know how to stop looking. Especially when its my heart that's looking for something it doesn't know.

P.S. Liam Neeson kicked ass in Taken. His daughter kinda sucked and I'm convinced it was Shannon (again...from Lost. Don't get me wrong, I liked her in Lost.).

tasty

2009-02-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

Sweet! i fInally have a blog!! I've been putting it off since I stopped using xanga. I'll admit I was getting jealous of bobby's blog. Its fun to be able to talk to no one and everyone in particular for venting when you're upset, excited about whatever, happenings in your life or simply to have something you can freak out about people reading when you become famous.

I really like reading people's blogs, it makes me feel more "normal". Even though I don't believe there is such a thing and if it is, I'm not too sure I Want to be "normal" (at least not the kind that come with quotation marks). People are much funnier than they give themselves credit for. Or maybe it could be I read things in my tone?? ... Nope, people are funny. And I like it. Not only funny, but they seem to go through the same cycles of self loathe, pride, weakness, courage, etc. as almost everyone out there. People think its so hard to make friends or talk to people, but its really not. They're more worried about what you'll think of them, (there is so much more that i'm trying to say here but its not coming out as smooth as I hoped) *sigh of frustration*
I guess one of the things I'm trying to say and I dont know why, is that you don't need to be "friends" with everyone you meet, just realize that once you talk to them more, you'll find out you have more in common than you thought possible. And that goes for pretty much everyone you meet.

Whatever, this isn't working, Ahhhhh, I suck at brain. I cannot work you brain!! How dare you give me concepts I can't word to the people....from the people and for the people. See, this is why I have a blog. Cuz I can make no sense all I want and not feel guilty that you have wasted your time reading it. muAhaha.

Stay tuned for more untuned nonsense from me. SarahSofia.

P.s. you have no idea how many backspaces I made (pinky cramp) in order to make this a more legible draft. With capital I's and words spelled correctly (??)( i think?) (I mean IIII think?) see, I skipped that one for emphasis. (which I almost spelled enfisis) HHA) Dictionary.com has become my best friend. But be proud of me cuz I didn't(aaaand back space to insert apostrophe) use it for emphasis. (there is a slight chance it could be emphisis) but that doesn't look right)

You will notice my use for parenthesis(ok hold on I gotta dic.com that one) damn one letter off) is in the far right of the zero in terms of usage. I like them because it feels like a conversation within a conversation, you are seeing a little more into my inner workings as a horrible speaker/brain owner.

I am off now to heat my left over pizza and watch LOST (my new favorite show) PD and Friends excluded). Lost is amazing!! I'm on season one episode 13ish. I heart Charlie.